WHO MAKES THE FIRST MOVE?

But the Lord God called….   “Where are you?”  ---- Genesis 3:9

Conflict – it’s a fact of life.  It’s so common that every relationship experiences it.  Conflict is natural because we live in broken world.

Conflict is also neutral.  It can destroy relationships but it can also deepen them.  Conflict can work against us, shredding trust, ripping even old friendships to pieces.  But it can also work for us, forging deeper understanding and trust because people care enough.

Just a few pages into our Bibles, we find conflict crashing into Paradise.  Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, and all kinds of conflicts erupt.  They were at odds with their own bodies, embarrassed by their nakedness.  They were at odds with each other as Adam blamed Eve.  Worst of all, the guilty pair found that they were frighteningly at odds with God.  When they heard the sound of the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of the day, they hid.

What’s our hope in the face of conflicts, some of which seem beyond healing?  Notice that even at the dawn of history our deepest hope in facing conflict was revealed:  “The Lord God called……”  Without God’s penetrating voice, which speaks both truth and grace, hearts would remain hopelessly hardened. But God can – and He does – bid all conflicts to cease.

FORGIVE US OUR SINS

“Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. – Matthew 6:12

What’s your reaction when someone hurts you or mistreats you?  Do you immediately start planning your revenge?  The world has lots of phrases to describe this response: “I’ll get you for that!”  “One day you’ll get yours!”  “Don’t get mad, get even!”  That’s the world’s way of dealing with conflict.  Jesus shows us a better way.  It’s called forgiveness.  He calls on us to forgive those who offend us, just as God has forgiven us and continues to forgive our sins against Him.

God promises us that we will be treated the same way we treat others (Matthew 7:2; Luke 6:37-38).  That can be a welcome promise or a worrisome thought!  If we’re generous toward others, we’ll experience God’s generosity.  If we refuse to forgive those who wrong us, God will not forgive our sins.  Why would God do this?  Because He loves us, and He refuses to let us live with sinful attitudes that will eventually destroy us.  He wants to develop our character.  God is also perfectly just.  He won’t treat us one way and yet allow us to treat others in a different way.

The Lord’s Prayer holds the reminder that if we hope to receive forgiveness and grace, we must be willing to extend mercy to those who offend us.

If we are holding on to bitterness, refusing to forgive someone, review in our heart how God overlooked our sins when He made us His child.  Now, He asks us to do likewise and excuse the sins of our debtors.  When we let go of a grudge, we will experience the joy and freedom that comes with forgiveness.

LOOKING AT OURSELVES FIRST

Search me, o God, and know my heart. – Psalm 139:23

Many of us know we should examine ourselves first in the face of conflict.  But very few of us do that.  When we find ourselves embroiled in a conflict, we should first ask ourselves, Am I at fault here?

This is hard for us, especially because in most conflicts we feel pretty strongly that we are right.  And we figure that should also be obvious to everyone else.

But in conflict, as wise people know, the fault is rarely completely one-sided.

So if today you find yourself thinking angry, condemning thoughts about someone who has done something to you, you may need to take firm steps to deal with that person.  But take care also to look honestly at your own behavior and feelings.  Before you act, ask yourself, What if I’m not seeing the whole picture?  What if, in fact, something in me is also at fault here?

The good news is that God knows us far better than we know ourselves.  God knows “all our ways.”  Nothing is hidden from God’s ultrasound, CAT-scan eyes.

Even better news is that God, by His Spirit, is actually able to show us what he sees, to peel away our layers of self-deception, and to give us 20/20 vision into our heart of hearts.  Would it not be wise, first, to humbly ask God to show us ourselves accurately, lest we end up, too late, profoundly at fault as well?

NO SHAME

That is why I am suffering as I am.  Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day. 

                                                                                                                        2 Timothy 1:12

Are you embarrassed to admit that you’re a Christian?  How do you feel when someone makes fun of Christianity?  Have you had a well-meaning friend who tried to point out all the reasons your faith is misguided?  Most of us have times when we’re tempted to pretend we don’t know Christ. (Remember the apostle Peter?)  It saves us from having to answer some tough questions.   It helps us feel more accepted.  And it works, for the moment.  But deep down we’re miserable because we know we’ve let Christ down.  At times like these, we must remind ourselves of who it is that we serve.

Jesus loved us enough to go to the cross for us.  He had every reason to turn his back on us as we mocked him and tortured Him.  Instead, He died for us.  He proved His power when He overcame death itself.  History testifies that Jesus is who said He was. Now that He has saved us, He has called us to be witnesses to His power.  He offers us the same strength that raised Him from the dead.  We can be totally confident, as Paul was, that whatever we trust into Christ’s hands will be safe.

Faith is not about what you don’t know.  Faith is about what you know.   In light of all that you know about Christ and what He has done for you, you have no reason to be intimidated.  Don’t let friends, classmates, teachers, professors, or anyone else steal your confidence.  You probably know far more about truth than they do.  When you faith is shaky or when you’re afraid to stand up for your faith, get closer to Jesus.  Let Him assure you that He is everything the Bible says He is.

FLEE AND PURSUE

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.  Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.  But you man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

-          1 Timothy 6:10-11

“The love of money is the root of all evil.”  Although this is one of the most misquoted passages of the Scripture, it is true that becoming consumed with quest for material luxuries can sidetrack even the most well-meaning Christian.  Paul adamantly warns his friends not to allow greed to distract them from the things that are really worth going after: righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness.

So how do we acquire all these great things?  We must ask God to build them into our lives.  Then be ready for the way He does so!  For example, is God allowing you to go through hard times?  Now is a great time to learn endurance! Don’t quit.  Don’t give up hope.  Endurance is learned by enduring, not by avoiding hardship at all costs.  What about pursuing love?  Maybe God has linked us in some way with a person who is very hard to love.  Love that person anyway!  Pray for her.  Do something kind for him.  Love grows the most when it’s the hardest, and the person who is hardest to love probably needs love the most.

Pursuing riches takes a lot of effort.  So does pursuing godliness.  Each will take us in a different direction.  One leads to grief; the other, to joy.  So choose your path wisely.

NEAR TO GOD

Come near to God and He will come near to you.  Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. – James 4:8

Do we sometimes feel that God is right there with us, and at other times he seems thousands of miles away?  When we pray, is there close communion with God some days, and other days it’s as though our prayers go unheard?  Why does God seem so far away at times?  Is He preoccupied with running the universe?  Is He busy doing battle with Satan or tied up attending to the needs of more important people?  Jesus promised that He would never leave us (Matthew 28:20), yet why are there times when we don’t sense His presence?

James gives the answer to these questions.  “Come near to God and He will come near to you.”  When we’re separated from God, we’re the ones who have strayed, not God.  There may be sin in our lives that we need to confess and then ask for His forgiveness.  Or we may have been distracted by other things, so we’ve neglected to spend time in prayer and Bible study.  When we realize this has happened, we should immediately seek God with all our strength.  We need to keep seeking after Him, until once again, we enjoy close fellowship with Him.

If our relationship with God is cold and distant, examine our life to see if there are sins or attitudes that we need to ask God to remove.  Spend time in prayer and in God’s Word; go to Him with a humble heart and confess our sins. Always remember, God is not the one who changes (Malachi 3:6).  It is us who wander, and it’s our responsibility to return to Him.  He stands ready to love us, to forgive us, and to restore our relationship with Him.